The first smartphone: "More transparency, less judgement"

As the results of the 2021 MIKE study show, it’s starting earlier and earlier: even primary school pupils already have their own mobiles. Among those aged six to seven, about one fifth have their own mobile. By the end of primary school, this rises to 79% for 12- to 13-year-olds.  

So much for the facts. But how should families decide when the time is right for their children to have their own mobile? Sunrise discussed this and other questions with Daniel Betschart, Media Literacy Programme Manager at Pro Juventute and father of two. 

First of all, that number should be treated with caution, as what «your own phone» means varies from one family to the next. For example, there are families that have an «emergency phone» for children to use on their way to school or a «family phone» for communal use. In general, I’d say that nine years and four months is quite early for children to have their own fully featured phone.

Essentially, I’d like to see children engaging in as many different activities as possible for as long as possible, instead of getting too used to smartphones as a means of keeping themselves entertained. This is mainly because intensive use of smartphones and other digital media can have an impact on neural development. So, in my opinion, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, especially since it also depends on the child’s maturity and media literacy. And media literacy is an important factor. We live in a digitalised society and children need to learn gradually how to navigate it, which means they need to learn a range of skills. Of course, there needs to be some kind of practical way for them to do so. I think the transition to secondary school at the age of 12 or 13 offers useful and valuable opportunities to do that. I also think it makes sense for young people to connect and interact with their environment using their smartphones. At the age of 12 or 13, children are more mature and will learn to use the device more consciously. But no matter at what age a child gets their first smartphone, what’s important is that they’re guided by a parent or guardian.

Having an open conversation with our children is fundamental. Digital media plays a big part in our children’s and young people’s lives, so we as parents need to address it when we talk to our children. We often ask things like: What did you and your friends get up to at school today? How was your sports practice? In the same way, we can also ask: What did you get up to online today? It’s important that parents show an ongoing interest in the digital activities of their children, seek to talk about them and remain engaged. It’s also valuable to explore and experience individual features or apps together – in other words, to create shared digital experiences consciously. Watch films, play games or cook a meal together using a YouTube video. And have fun while you do it. We need to try to experience the digital world in a positive way with our children, instead of constantly urging caution. From a certain age, it also makes less sense to set a daily screen-time limit, but rather to agree on screen-free time instead. For example, our family consciously creates media-free time during meals or days out so we can enjoy each other’s company – without our phones. That includes us parents too.

The WHO recommendation is to avoid screen time for infants under two years of age. Older children should therefore be engaging in media activities without their younger siblings being present. This will naturally become a challenge from a certain age. At this point, it’s best to focus on shared experiences that are geared towards the youngest children. Supervised and targeted use is key here too, whether it involves watching videos together, listening to audiobooks or researching animals. However, I’m somewhat critical of independent use among younger children because most phones tend to offer more features than a child of that age understands or needs. For example, an old phone could be repurposed if it’s only required for staying in contact with children on their way to after-school activities like sport. Or children could use a dedicated smartphone where parents can use an app to manage the features. (More information on this is in the box).

It’s true that there are lots of dangers lurking on the Internet. The same can be said for the analogue world, by the way. The older children get, the more independent they become online. That’s why it’s all the more important that topics such as cyberbullying, cyber-grooming (unwanted sexual advances by strangers online) or sexting (sending sexually explicit videos/photos) are discussed early and age-appropriately. At Pro Juventute, we offer support in the form of workshops at schools (Years 3-8) or for parents. It’s important for children to know that they can talk to their parents or a trusted adult at any time and that they’ll receive support should they experience any of these things.

More transparency, less judgement. If parents feel uncomfortable about their children’s mobile-phone use, they should refrain from jumping to conclusions. Being persistently negative about your child’s mobile-phone use can cause them to withdraw, which could include not sharing any concerns or fears they may have about the digital world. That’s why being transparent, showing an interest and having conversations about it are so important.